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excogitation
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Name: Chad
Location: Mississippi, United States
Birthday: 5/8/1982
Gender: Male
Interests: Stage Management, Acting, Computers, Programming, Math, Music, Guitar, Bass, Books that challenge the way I think, My iPod, Film and Movies, Sound Engineering and related theory, most anything else...
Expertise: Computer Programming (degree), Math (degree), Theatre (formerly a minor; approaching a degree), Sound Engineering (an obsessive hobby)
Occupation: Computer related (Internet)
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/13/2005
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| Okay, it's been entirely too long since I last posted on this thing. If you're upset, sue me. (I mean hey, it's my site, isn't it?) And it's only been about five months.
So we all survived Katrina here. I was talking to a friend of
mine (Dennis Bonds) here at Belhaven about the storm, and I agree with
him that this thing wasn't a hurricane. I've seen hurricanes,
I've been in hurricanes, and this wasn't the same thing at all.
I know there's a lot of people back home in the Long Beach/Pass
Christian/Gulfport/Biloxi area that have lost everything, and I really
hurt for them. I can't really talk about this for long right now.
So after the power went out here at the school and classes were
cancelled for the next week, I left for a spur-of-the-moment vacation
with a bunch of guys from my hall and a bunch of girls from another
hall and several random floaters. All together, we had close to
twenty people on the trip.
Talk about a great time. I don'te rally have time to go into it here,
but suffice it to say that's about the coolest road trip/vacation I've
been on in all my five and a half years here at Belhaven. So glad
I went.
And a shout out to the new friends I made on the trip. Y'know, my freshman year...
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| For those of you who haven't yet been to see the one act plays, it's
more than worthwhile. And I'm not just saying that because I'm in
one of them; I'm referring to the world premiere of Joe Frost's play Braids. They
painted up your secrets/ With the lies they told you/ And the least
they ever gave you/ Was the most you ever knew// And I wonder where
these dreams go/ When the world gets in your way/ What's the point in
all this screaming /No one's listening anyway// Your voice is small and
fading/ And you hide in here unknown/ And your mother loves your
father/ 'Cause she's got nowhere to go// And she wonders where these
dreams go/ 'Cause the world got in her way/ What's the point in ever
trying/ Nothing's changing anyway// They press their lips against you/
And you love the lies they say/ And I tried so hard to reach you/ But
you're falling anyway// And you know I see right through you/ 'Cause
the world gets in your way/ What's the point in all the screaming/
You're not listening anyway -John Rzeznik
"Acoustic #3" from the Goo
Goo Dolls' "Dizzy Up the Girl" Forgive
me for that. I'm usually of the opinion that song quotes on
xangas are about as cheesy as you can get, but this one is really
helping me as I think about Joe's play and about the Ibsen I'm reading
right now. Go see Braids. | | |
| In observation of people:
Why is it so hard for us (people) to see our own situations clearly
when we can all clearly see the situations of other people? No
man is able to see his present outward self, unless he has a mirror, so
also no man is able to easily observe his true present inward state.
On people who have crushes: Crush the hunter, the little brother
of Lust the devourer, seems to be a wily predator. When we are
drawn to music, poetry, films, books, and even relational situations that feed the emotional state
of a crush, are we not constantly taking the bait of the hunter and so
falling into his traps?
I think Crush must be evil; he doesn't seem good. His evil, if no
other, is to make idle the mind and idol the heart. He's very
deceptive, for while he turns the outward eyes out, he also turns the
inward eyes in.
The mind stays preoccupied with the very idea of the crush and the
heart enjoys the flutters, while the head becomes firmly lodged in a
bodily orfice I'll not stoop to describing here.
I don't know what I'd call it, but it's not love. It's too self-focused.
And I, in my past experiences, cannot see this for what it is and
therefore act like a complete fool. What is it about these
situations in particular that make us so blind to the present?
Why has God given us our hearts to guide us in our present, and our
minds to kick ourselves for that in the future?
(Don't get offended if you have experienced or are currently
experiencing genuine love; I'm knocking the self-centered counterfeit
in this post, not the real thing.)
PS - If you ever catch me in this state, please knock some sense into me. I'd do the same for you.
PPS - Don't read too much into this post and start asking personal questions in the comments.
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| You know, I had thought the end of the shows would herald a short time
of peace and rest, so I could regain my academic bearings and steadily
shift my focus back to schoolwork.
Not so, my friends. Not only was I immediately confronted with
two formidable midterms, I was also given a grueling 2-3 hour workout
at 8:00 each morning by a guest artist in the Theatre Department.
Of course, all of this is on top of the time I spend at work, the
rehearsals for The 15-minute Hamlet (which is my next show), and the minutely detailed feasibility study I had to turn in this morning.
When is spring break? Next week, maybe? I'd probably know if it was.
Thanks, by the way, to all of you who visited me at open dorm on Monday night.
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Through a connection I have, I got two free passes to see Shane and
Shane last night at a local youth conference. Sorry, LLL folks,
but I've already seen your show twice. It was great!
Hey, if I can't brag a little, what's this site for?
All of my troubles with this site are over. They've given me a
20-day free trial of the pay version of xanga, and I don't have any
problems getting things to work now. Now we'll see if the thing
quits working when my account reverts back to the free version in 19
days.
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